Monday, January 9, 2012

A letter to my ex (Douche bag of the day)

Dear Adam,

There is so much that I would like to say to you but I am so disgusted by you that I can't muster up the strength to talk to you face to face or even hear your voice on the phone.

The first thing I want to focus on is that, well, you're job is going to be the death of you. Your job is the most important thing in your life. More important than your family. Worst of all, it isn't even a very good job. One would think you'd be willing to sacrifice your family for an AMAZING job, but yours just plain sucks. The hours are horrible and the pay is crap. Way to go. Hopefully your jack-in-the-box girlfriend can tolerate your crappy hours but since she too has a crappy job the two of you might actually work out. Just remember, don't screw up your relationship with her because of your job.

Second, you're a horrible person. I actually feel bad for your girlfriend, mostly because she has children. The fact that you have to "settle" for her because you can't be with me is rather disturbing. Especially since you told me she isn't with he kids father because he cheated on her. Yet you tell me how you want to work things out (This was the weekend you were here for Noah's birthday party, so you were already with her), and how we could try therapy. BLAH. I don't think any amount of therapy would work, not after what happened with "Jenny", the girl you slept with in our bed, in our room, in our apartment, with MY stuff all over the place. Classy.

Lets take a peek shall we?





DOUCHE. So yes, I honestly can say I feel bad for her. 

I also want to thank you. I want to thank you for screwing up. Without you screwing up and screwing me over I never would have met Daniel. He is by far the most amazing man on this Earth. I have never smiled and laughed so much like I do with him. Do we have the perfect relationship? No. But at the end of the day I look over at him and realize him and I were meant to be. We were made for each other. When I am sick he takes a day off from work to help me. He likes coffee and enjoys being silly together, just to be silly. He is honest and open and very, very caring. He knows how to love somebody without trying to change everything about them. He is supportive in my decisions and always has a shoulder for me to cry on if it is needed. He goes to church with me and keeps an open mind on everything (zombies!). And he knows how to snuggle. The man is a master at snuggling. He could snuggle all day long. 

I hope one day you realize that your job ruins lives and not just yours. So does your anger and "I don't care" attitude. Also, for the love of God, try not to be so close minded. 

Once I get my belongings moved out I hope to God I never have to see you or hear from you again because you have done nothing but bring me down. There are only two people I actually "hate" and you're one of them. 


*Hands him his award*
You sir are awarded with Douche Bag of the year 2011. Congrats. 

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